Over40.it, our new e-zine dedicated to you, a splendid over forty-years-old woman who looks at life as the best part is here and now.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Stop Living with Wrinkles!


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Friday, January 30, 2009

A Valentine for your skin


Ultimate Extra Firming Gift Set: link
This kit contains:
- Cleansing Milk With Alpine Herbs ( 1.7 fl oz )
- Toning Lotion With Camomile ( 1.7 fl oz )
- Double Sérum Génération 6 ( 1.06 fl oz )
- Extra-Firming Day Cream for All Skin Types ( 1.7 fl oz )
- Extra-Firming Night Cream for All Skin Types ( 1.7 fl oz )
- Extra-Firming Day Cream for All Skin Types ( 0.53 fl oz )
- Extra-Firming Night Cream for All Skin Types ( 0.53 fl oz )

The season's ultimate anti-aging collection, with deluxe travel and full size Extra-Firming skin care essentials, plus other treatment products for a youthful-looking, beautiful complexion. Accompanied by two chic travel bags. A $335 Value. Offered at only $245. Special offer: take and additional 25% off + free shipping! Discount applied at checkout.


Click here to browse the entire Clarins Valentine's Day Gift Sets collection.



Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The old saying is true

Getting older means getting better-it's simply magnificent!

Age of Magnificence 40 T Shirt
Celebrate landmark birthdays with these front-screenprinted tees that let you proudly wear the badge of your age. Or give them as great gifts!
Ages 40, 50, and 60 available. link
100% preshrunk cotton. Imported. Color: Lavender. Sizes: M, L, XL, XXL.



Monday, January 26, 2009

Ros Hommerson Spring 2009 shoes

This spring, Ros Hommerson does style with a sophisticated touch. All Rosh Hommerson shoes ship free in the USA.

Ros Hommerson - Flower (Fuchsia Softy Patent) - Footwear
Ros Hommerson - Flower (Fuchsia Softy Patent): link
Smooth patent leather uppers mold to your feet with each stride. Adjustable strap rests on your ankle to provide a personalized fit. Heel-to-toe padding delivers cushioning and comfort for all-day wear. Matching block heel offers sturdy support and shock absorption. Durable leather outsole features a non-skid rubber pod for increased grip. 3.50 heel. 7.00 oz. Part of the exclusive Ros Hommerson Red Collection.


Ros Hommerson - Spa (Black Patent/White Nappa) - Footwear
Ros Hommerson - Spa (Black Patent/White Nappa): link
Find spa-like comfort at an usual height with this must-have wedge. Premium leather or soft patent uppers mold to your feet with each stride. Dainty strap and a polished buckle add a youthful touch for style Heel-to-toe antibacterial and antifungal foam helps promote a healthy environment. Quality latex footbed provides superior cushioning and shock absorption. Flexible rubber outsole delivers enhanced grip and traction with each step. 2.25 heel. 9.00 oz.


Ros Hommerson - Summer (Black Lizard Print Leather) - Footwear
Ros Hommerson - Summer (Black Lizard Print Leather): link
This spring, sling back into style with a little help from 'Summer' . Smooth leather uppers feature subtle lizard print detailing for style. Adjustable strap rests on your ankle and provides a personalized, proper fit. Heel-to-toe antibacterial and antifungal foam helps promote a healthy environment. Quality latex foam footbed provides superior cushioning and shock absorption. Flexible rubber outsole delivers enhanced grip and traction with each step. 2.25 heel. 7.00 oz.


Ros Hommerson - Bristol (Navy Kid) - Footwear
Ros Hommerson - Bristol (Navy Kid): link
Complete your ensemble with the sophisticated 'Bristol' sling-back from Ros Hommerson®. Patent or kid leather upper with bow accent for a cosmopolitan look. Adjustable ankle strap allows you to customize the fit to your own preference. Leather lining conforms to the foot and wicks away moisture to keep you dry. Leather insole provides cushioning and support with every step you take. Chunky heel with synthetic outsole maintains traction and grip to ensure a steady stride. 1.75 heel. 7.00 oz.



Wednesday, January 21, 2009

He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out

Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out

Many women have said to me, "Greg, men run the world." Wow. That makes us sound pretty capable. So tell me, why would you think we could be incapable of something as simple as picking up the phone and asking you out? You seem to think at times that we're "too shy" or we "just got out of something." Let me remind you: Men find it very satisfying to get what they want. (Particularly after a difficult day of running the world.) If we want you, we will find you. If you don't think you gave him enough time to notice you, take the time it took you to notice him and divide it by half.

Now you begin the life-changing experience of reading our book. We have put the stories we have heard and questions we've been asked in a simple question-and-answer format. If you're lucky, you'll read the following questions and know what they are: Excuses that women have made for their unsatisfying situations. If you're not so lucky, we've also included handy titles to clue you in.

The "Maybe He Doesn't Want to Ruin the Friendship" Excuse

Dear Greg,

I'm so disappointed. I have this friend that I've known platonically for about ten years. He lives in a different city and recently he was in town for work, so we met for dinner. All of a sudden it felt like we were on a date. He was completely flirting with me. He even said to me, as he was checking me out, "So, what, you're working the whole 'model thing' now?" (That's flirting, right?) We both agreed that we should get together again soon. Well,Greg, I'm disappointed because it's been two weeks and he hasn't called me. Can I call him? He might be nervous about turning the friendship into romance. Can't I give him a nudge now? Isn't that what friends are for?

Jodi

Dear Friendly Girl,

Two weeks is two weeks, except when it's ten years and two weeks. That's how long ago he decided whether or not he could date a model or a girl who looks like one. Can you be a pal and give him a nudge? Nudge away, friendster -- but watch how fast that nudge doesn't get a return phone call. And if your dinner/date did feel different to him, it's been two weeks and he's had time to think about it and decide he's just not that into you. Here's the truth: Guys don't mind messing up a friendship if it could lead to sex, whether it be a "fuck buddy" situation or a meaningful romance. Go find someone that lives in your zip code who will be rocked to the core by your deep conversation and model looks.

I hate to tell you, but that whole "I don't want to ruin the friendship" excuse is a racket. It works so well because it seems so wise. Sex could mess up a friendship. Unfortunately, in the entire history of mankind, that excuse has never ever been used by someone who actually means it. If we're really excited about someone, we can't stop ourselves -- we want more. If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further. And please, don't tell me he's just "scared." The only thing he's scared of -- and I say this with a lot of love -- is how not attracted to you he is.

The "Maybe He's Intimidated by Me" Excuse

Dear Greg,

I have a crush on my gardener. He's been potting the plants on my patio. It was hot, I saw him without his shirt on, he was hot, and now I'm hot for him. I brought out some beers and we talked. I think he wants to ask me out but is afraid, because he is my hired man. In this situation, can't I ask him out?

Cherie

Dear My Secret Garden,

He's capable of asking you out. Haven't you ever seen a porno? Hope he gets there before the pizza guy. But seriously, if he didn't pick up the vibe after the beer garden, it has nothing to do with you being his big boss lady. Time to stop and smell the bad news: He's just not that into you.

Let me say it again, sexual harassment rules and workplace memos notwithstanding, a guy will ask out a woman of higher status if he's into her. He might need a little more encouragement than normal, I'll give you that. You might have to lead Johnny the Office Boy or Phillipe the Exterminator to water, but you better not help him ask you out. Once again, ladies, a wink and a smile will do it.

By the way, why are you dating the exterminator?

Just kidding, he's a good guy.

The "Maybe He Wants to Take It Slow" Excuse

Dear Greg,

There's this guy who calls me all the time. He's recently divorced, and in AA. We got back in touch recently, had lots of phone calls, and then hung out twice in one week and it was real cool. No flirting or making out or anything, but fun. Since then, he calls me all the time but doesn't ever suggest we see each other in person again. It's like he got scared or something. I would understand if because of the divorce/alcoholic/starting-a-whole-new-life stuff he wanted to take things slow. But he still calls me all the time to have long heart-to-heart talks. What the hell should I do with this guy?

Jen

Dear Pillow Talk,

Sadly, not wanting to see you in person is massive as far as dating obstacles go. And as far as the recently divorced/newly sober/starting-a-new-life parts, blah blah blah, I'm getting sleepy, it's hot, I'm going down for a nap. When I wake up from that nap I'll probably thrill to the news that your friend is taking control of his life. You, however, will still not be going on a date, because despite all your excuses for him, he's still not asking you out. Now, if you're a person who enjoys a slightly satisfying phone relationship, talk on! But at this point it seems like he's just not that into you. Be his friend if you're at all interested on that level, but move your romantic inclinations onto a more suitable future husband.

If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won't keep you guessing, because he'll want to make sure you don't get frustrated and go away.

The "But He Gave Me His Number" Excuse

Dear Greg,

I met a really cute guy at a bar this week. He gave me his number and told me to give him a call sometime. I thought that was kind of cool, that he gave me control of the situation like that. I can call him, right?

Lauren

Dear Control Freak,

Did he give you control, or did he just get you to do the heavy lifting? What he just did was a magic trick: It seems like he gave you control, but really he now gets to decide if he wants to go out with you -- or even return your call. Why don't you take Copperfield's number, roll it in a newspaper, pour milk in it, and make it disappear.

"Give me a call." "E-mail me." "Tell Joey we should all hang out sometime." Don't let him trick you into asking him out. When men want you, they do the work. I know it sounds old school, but when men like women, they ask them out.

The "Maybe He Forgot to Remember Me" Excuse

Dear Greg,

Okay, Greg. Listen to this one: I was at a conference for work and met a guy from another branch of my company. We hit it off immediately. He was just about to ask for my number, I swear, when the Big Blackout of 2003 happened. In the mayhem, I didn't get to give him my number. I think the Big Blackout of 2003 is a good enough excuse to call him, don't you think? It's only common courtesy for me to check up on him, right? If I don't call, he's probably going to be all sad thinking that I'm just not that into him.

Judy

Dear Judy Blackout,

The city blacked out. He didn't. You said you work for different branches of the same company. Certainly he wouldn't have to break a sweat to scroll through the company staff roster or interoffice e-mail listing to find you. And should he not be as resourceful as you are...I imagine that he has a mother, sister, or female friend that could show him how, if he was really interested.

P.S.: Shame on you for using an eastern seaboard disaster as an excuse to call a guy up.

Have faith. You made an impression. Leave it at that. If he likes you, he'll still remember you after the tsunami, flood, or Red Sox loss. If he doesn't, he's not worth your time. Know why? You are great. (Now, don't get cocky.)

The "Maybe I Don't Want to Play Games" Excuse

Dear Greg,

This is dumb. I know you're not supposed to call guys, but I call guys all the time because I don't care! I don't want to play games. I do whatever I want! I've called guys tons of times. You're such a square, Greg. Why do you think we can't call guys and ask them out?

Nikki

Dear Nikki,

Because we don't like it. Okay, some guys might like it, but they're just lazy. And who wants to go out with Lazy Guy? It's that simple. I didn't make the rules and I might not even agree with them. Please don't be mad at me, Nikki. I'm not advocating that women go back to the Stone Age. I just think you might want to be realistic in how capable you are of changing the primordial impulses that drive all of human nature.

Or maybe you're the chosen one.

Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do. Especially when the chase is a long one. We know there was a sexual revolution. (We loved it.) We know women are capable of running governments, heading multinational corporations, and raising loving children -- sometimes all at the same time. That, however, doesn't make men different.

IT'S SO SIMPLE Imagine right now that I'm leaping up and down and shaking my fist at the sky. I'm on my knees pleading with you. I'm saying this in a loud voice: "Please, if you can trust one thing I say in this book, let it be this: When it comes to men, deal with us as we are, not how you'd like us to be." I know it's an infuriating concept -- that men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth. My belief is that if you have to be the aggressor, if you have to pursue, if you have to do the asking out, nine times out of ten, he's just not that into you. (And we want you to believe you're one of the nine, ladies!) I can't say it loud enough: You, the superfox reading this book, are worth asking out.

HERE'S WHY THIS ONE IS HARD, by Liz

Well, it's obvious. Are you telling us that we have to just sit around and wait? I don't know about you, but I find that infuriating. I was brought up to believe that hard work and good planning are the keys to making your dreams come true. I spent my life making things happen for myself. I worked hard for my career, and was quite aggressive about it. I called people, made appointments, asked for favors. I took action. But now Greg is telling us that in this situation, we are supposed to do absolutely nothing. The guys get to pick. We're just supposed to put on our little dresses and do our hair and bat our eyes and hope they choose us. Why don't you just tie my corset too tight so I can faint in front of some man who'll scoop me out of the way just before the horse-drawn carriage runs over me? That'll get his attention.

Really, in this day and age, the hardest thing to do for many women, particularly me, is nothing. We like to scheme, make phone calls, have a plan. And I'm talking about more than just making sure our hair doesn't frizz. Most women who date, I would guess, don't have men throwing themselves at them every night of the week. Sometimes there's a long stretch during which nobody's asking us out. So when we see a guy that we feel might be a romantic possibility, it's even harder for us to take a backseat. That opportunity might not come back again for a long time.

But guess what: My way? Has sucked. Hasn't worked at all. I've never had a successful relationship with a guy that I've pursued. I'm sure there are many stories out there to the contrary. But for me, those guys end up getting back together with their ex-girlfriend, needing to take some time for themselves, or going out of town for business. Usually it doesn't even get that far. They usually just don't ever return my phone call. And let me tell you, that didn't make me feel very in control of anything.

Since I've been implementing Greg's handy-dandy "he's just not that into you" philosophy, I've been feeling surprisingly more powerful. Because if the men are asking you out, if the men have to get your attention, then you, in fact, are the one in control. There's no scheming and plotting. And there is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And most importantly, it's good for us all to remember that we don't need to scheme and plot and beg to get someone to ask us out. We're fantastic.

THIS IS WHAT IT SHOULD LOOK LIKE, by Greg

One night I was drinking in a bar and flirting with the bartender. I asked for her number. She said, "I don't give out my phone number because guys rarely call me when they say they're going to. My name is Lindsey Adams, and if you want to call me, find my phone number." Which I did -- the very next day. Do you know how many Lindsey Adams there are in the phone book of a major city? Let's just say I talked to about eight or nine before I found mine.

An actor we work with met a girl while he was making a public appearance on an aircraft carrier. He lost track of her in about ten minutes. And yet, because he was so smitten, he somehow managed to track her down in the army, and they are now married.

GREG, I GET IT! By Leslie, age 29

Greg! I get it. I went to this party and I met this guy. We started talking immediately by ourselves, off in a corner. He asked if I was single and seemed pleased when I said I was. Whenever we split up to talk to other people, or to get drinks or whatever, he always kept his eye on me. It was really cool. I was all excited and fluttery with that "Oh my God, I think I just met someone!" feeling. He didn't ask for my number, but we know lots of people in common, so I thought he was just playing it cool. He never called me! And you know what? Normally I would call our mutual friends and start fishing and trying to figure out what happened and maybe try to find another way to see him again. But instead, I'm just going to move on! Who cares what his deal is. He's not asking me out, so why should I start obsessing over him? I'm just going to go out tonight and try to meet someone else.

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE GREG We did an incredibly unscientific poll where we polled twenty of our male friends (ranging from ages twenty-six to forty-five), who are in serious long-term relationships. Not one of their relationships started with the woman asking them out first. One guy even said that if she had, "It would have spoiled all the fun."

What You Should Have Learned in This Chapter

• An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of "ruining the friendship."

• Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.

• If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.

• Just because you like to lead doesn't mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.

• "Hey, let's meet at so-and-so's party/any bar/friend's house" is not a date. Even if you live in New York.

• Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.

• You are good enough to be asked out.

Our Super-Good Really Helpful Workbook

Hey, what's a self-help tome without a workbook? Our chapters will all be so brave and wise that we want to make sure you retain as much of the brilliance as you can. So for all of you who feel the need to get out of your problems and into your crayon box, have at it.

Love,

Greg and Liz Remember in grade school how they told you not to write in your textbooks? Screw that! Grab a pen and list five reasons why you think you have every right or good reason to call him.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Put the book aside and wait an hour. Or at least ten minutes. Then ask yourself: Do I seem pathetic? Do I sound like someone who doesn't trust my own innate hotness? Yes,you do! Now put your dialing finger away, get out of the house, and go find some fun.

P.S.: You just did a workbook exercise about a guy who hasn't even extended to you the energy of a phone call. Why would you want to chase that down?

Text copyright © 2004 by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
excerpted from:

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

by Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo
Winner of the 2005 Quill Book Awards - Health/Self Improvement Category

SYNOPSIS:
Everyone can use a daily wake-up call.
Now in bite-size mantras, the abridged empathetic wit and wisdom of the number one New York Times bestseller He's Just Not That Into You will recharge and inspire your dating outlook one wake-up call at a time.
For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men. Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that —despite good intentions— you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages.
The truth may be, He's just not that into you.

He's Just Not That Into You —based on a popular episode of Sex and the City— educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship. This book knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better.

Buy this book at Barnes & Noble



Monday, January 19, 2009

OLAY Professional Pro-X Anti-Aging Starter Protocol: special offer!


OLAY Professional Pro-X Anti-Aging Starter Protocol for $61.50 at Target website: click here!

Olay Skin Care Starter Kit features:
* Includes Eye Restoration Complex, Wrinkle Smoothing Cream, Age Repair Lotion with SPF 30
* Features Caffeine, Vitamin C, Vitamin E
* Combats the Signs of Aging, Reduces the Appearance of Fine Lines and Wrinkles, Helps Reduce Puffiness and Dark Circles, Helps to Even Skin Tone and Texture, Helps to Protect Against Sunburn
* Perfect for All Skin Types
* Fragrance Free



Thursday, January 15, 2009

Keep those New Year resolutions with MBT!

MBT footwear is a revolutionary new fitness aid that can change the way you use your muscles. Wearing MBT creates good posture, activates neglected muscles, strengthens your back and joints, improves circulation, and makes breathing more efficient. And that is just the beginning...

FREE Shipping with any MBT purchase at TheWalkingCompany.com

Pump up your workout plan this spring with new styles and colors of the revolutionary fitness shoe - MBT. Not only do these shoes offer you full-body shaping and toning in every step, but now there are more sporty styles than ever before.

MBT stands for Masai Barefoot Technology. MBT research indicates their footwear:
• activates neglected muscles
• improves posture and gait
• tones and shapes the body
• can help with back, hip, leg and foot problems
• can help with joint, muscle, ligament and tendon injuries
• reduces stress on knee and hip joints

The secret of MBT is in the sole. At the core is the Masai Sensor, which creates natural instability - a rocking, rolling movement - that stimulates your body's supporting muscular system, leads to toned muscles and better posture, and reduces stress on knees and hips. While regular shoes support and stabilize your body in an unnatural way, the natural instability of physiological footwear encourages your body to balance itself and works neglected muscles. It's the instability that gives you such a great workout.

Our favorite ladies' MTBs are:

M Walk
M Walk: link
Available in 6 colors.
MBT is the first physiological footwear that has a positive effect on the whole body. This sporty lace-up has a polyurethane midsole with a balanced pivoting section underneath the metatarsus which requires an active rolling movement with every step. This activates a large number of stabilizing muscles throughout the whole body when walking or standing.
* TPU and glass fiber shank adds firmness to sole construction and also ensures a natural rolling movement of the foot with every step, optimizing the pressure distribution over the whole sole.
* Masai Sensor (Masai Barefoot Technology®) creates a pleasant feeling of walking on a sandy beach or soft moss, and instantly creates a natural instability to which the body automatically reacts, increasing muscle activity.
* Rubber outsole.
* Leather/mesh upper is comfortable and durable.
* We recommend that you perform the MBT warm-up exercises to help get you acclimated to the MBT way of life.


Chapa
MBT Chapa: link
EXCLUSIVE! Available in 4 colors.
Pump up your workout plan this spring with the Chapa, a new style of the revolutionary fitness shoe – MBT. These shoes offer you full-body shaping and toning in every step with the unique sole construction that creates a natural instability, activating muscles needed to stabilize the body when walking or standing. Wearing MBTs improves posture and gait, strengthens neglected muscles, and can even help with back, hip, leg and foot problems.
* Nubuck leather and single-layer mesh upper.
* MBT DRY&COOL climate control sockliner circulates air and wicks away moisture with 3D mesh lining.
* TPU and glass fiber shank adds firmness to sole construction and also ensures a natural rolling movement of the foot for even weight distribution.
* PU midsole with pivot is the balancing section underneath the metatarsus which requires an active rolling movement with every step, activating your body’s stabilizing muscles when walking or standing.
* Masai Sensor creates a pleasant feeling of walking on a sandy beach or soft moss.
* Durable rubber outsole offers lightweight support with good traction.



Our favorite men's MTB:
Tembea
MBT Tembea: link
MBT is the first physiological footwear that has a positive effect on the whole body. This casual lace-up has a polyurethane midsole with a balanced pivoting section underneath the metatarsus which requires an active rolling movement with every step. This activates a large number of stabilizing muscles throughout the whole body when walking or standing.

* TPU and glass fiber shank adds firmness to sole construction and also ensures a natural rolling movement of the foot with every step, optimizing the pressure distribution over the whole sole.
* Masai Sensor (Masai Barefoot Technology®) creates a pleasant feeling of walking on a sandy beach or soft moss, and instantly creates a natural instability to which the body automatically reacts, increasing muscle activity.
* Rubber outsole absorbs shock.
* Nubuck leather upper is comfortable and durable.
* Mesh lining allows feet to stay dry and cool.
* We recommend that you perform the MBT warm-up exercises to help get you acclimated to the MBT way of life.



Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Martha Stewart shares her lifestyle secrets

We just love Martha, and everthing she is and represents. After reading what makes her so special we are infused with hope and good vibes. You are right on time for new year's resolutions, so try to make so of Martha daily routine's steps part of your life. We have already started!

"Martha Stewart: How Martha retains her Martha-ness

SEVERAL TIMES a day I'm asked to describe the daily routine that permits me to do all I do - maintaining a very busy schedule while still feeling good. I thought I would, once and for all, attempt to write it all down and share it with you here.

1. SKIN CARE: Skin care is vital, and my routine includes a thorough cleansing every morning and night. Toners, enriching day and night creams, and serums keep my skin elastic and supple and glowing. Sunblocks, balms and skin healers are also necessary as preventive treatments.

2. GYM:
My home gym is furnished with aerobic machines, weights and Cybex machines, and has a lovely view of the farm, a television so I can watch the news while running on the treadmill, and yoga equipment. The importance of aerobic exercise cannot be overemphasized. Aerobics keep weight down and stamina up.

3. MORNING JUICE:
Every morning I drink about 8 ounces of what I call "green juice." I use a juicer to make a blend of spinach, celery, cucumber, carrot and some fruit - pear, apple, pomegranate, plum, peach, a bit of orange peel and a small piece of ginger. The more of these ingredients that come from my organic garden, the better. I actually feel a jolt of energy when I imbibe these drinks.

4. CALENDAR: An organized calendar with every meeting, trip and appointment carefully listed and timed enables me to accomplish a lot each day. Each appointment is listed with phone numbers of all the principals. Addresses include cross streets so no time is wasted in finding a location.

5. WALKING: My favorite outdoor activity has always been hiking or walking. Good footwear, good socks and a jacket with pockets (for water and a cell phone) are crucial items of clothing.

6. EXERCISE: Weights are all-important for bone health and body toning, and yoga is essential for calming the mind and strengthening the body's core. I love weights for arms and shoulders, and my Pilates ring for strengthening thighs, arms and chest. A yoga block, a ring and a yoga strap come with me wherever I go, so I can at least get a bit of a workout when I'm on the road.

7. WATER: I have three offices in addition to my home office. Alongside every one of my computers I keep a pitcher of mineral water infused with lemon, lime, orange, or cucumber and mint. I find that I drink more if the pitcher is there as a reminder.

8. HAIR CARE: Because I have my hair styled so often, I wash it almost every day. I use a variety of shampoos and conditioners to keep my hair from becoming dry or brittle. Sometimes I visit my colorist for a glossing, which seems to infuse my hair with a new vitality.

9. DAILY MAINTENANCE:
Skin care is not the only daily routine one must adhere to. An electric toothbrush is essential for gum care and shiny white teeth, along with a good dental-care program (twice a year cleanings and checkups). Mouthwash and salt-water gargles are also helpful in keeping colds and sore throats from developing. Feet, hands, arms and legs should also be cared for.

10. RELAXATION: I do try to find some time, perhaps not every day but as often as possible, to curl up with a new book - often downloaded onto my Kindle - or to watch a movie. A great cup of tea or even a homemade cappuccino (one shot of espresso only) is an added perk and pleasure.

Last but not least, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of children, spouses, significant others and pets in our daily lives. They are the real reason we do what we do outside the home, in our work and in our play. And a few minutes of every day are spent on the phone catching up with close friends."

from marthastewart.com

via | Martha Stewart Fans



Monday, January 12, 2009

Discover your true potential and become the person you truly want to be

WHO ARE YOU, REALLY?
Discover your true potential and become the person you truly want to be


Imagine you woke up one day in a land populated almost entirely by giants. At first you would no doubt be terrified, and the deafening roar of loud noises and the uncomfortable sinking feeling when you fell would stick with you for a lifetime. After a time, you would realize that many of the giants seemed friendly, and that one giant in particular was taking a special interest in your safety and well-being.

Then imagine that one day, for no reason whatsoever, the giant you had learned to trust completely yelled at you, threatened you, even hit you. How could you ever feel safe again in a land of giants? There must be some laws of the land or rules that you could learn to help you survive.

One day, you meet some other little people. They appear to be like you, and in their company, you instantly feel more secure. Some of them claim to know the laws of the land, and share them with you. Combined with the insight you've gained from observing the giants and listening to them teach you in their booming, godlike voices, you begin to figure out what you need to do and not do to stay safe.

Do as you are told. It's easier to get along if you go along. Don't cry. Don't fight. Study hard. Get a job. Do as you are told. Get married. Have children to support you in your old age. Do as you are told.

The list grows longer as your once tiny body grows larger (nurtured no doubt by the special food produced in the land of the giants), and eventually you come to realize that there are no giants left.

And then one day you wake up, and there is a tinylittle creature staring up at you. She has awakened in a land of giants. And because you love her, you begin to teach her everything you've learned about how to survive in this land of giants.

And so the cycle continues. . . .

THE POWER OF BRAINWASHING

During the Korean civil war of the late 1950s, the Chinese Koreans successfully converted an unprecedented number of American POWs to the "religion" of communism. They didn't do it through threat of torture or even promise of reward—they did it by simply changing the soldier's self-image.

What the Chinese understood was that our behavior is a direct result of the person we believe we are—our self-image. Think of it like a loop—we are constantly confirming to ourselves that we are the person we think we are, but the system we use to interpret our behavior and feedback is our own self-image. It's a catch-22.

So the Chinese interrupted the loop. You might think it was a big task reprogramming men who had been highly trained only to give their name, rank, and serial number, but the Chinese did it bit by bit.

During an interrogation, prisoners were persuaded to make one or two mildly anti-American or pro-communist statements. (For example, "The United States is not perfect," or "In a communist country, there is less unemployment and crime.") Once these apparently minor statements had been extracted, the prisoner would then be asked to define exactly how the United States was not perfect. When he was worn down and weary, he would then be asked to sign his name to the list of reasons he had come up with.

Later, the prisoner would be made to read his list in a discussion group with other prisoners. The Chinese would then broadcast his name and list of reasons during an anti-American radio broadcast not only to his own camp but to all the other North Korean POW camps and the rest of the American forces in South Korea as well.

Suddenly, the prisoner found himself labeled a collaborator, someone who participated in the kind of behavior that helped the enemy. When fellow prisoners asked why he had done it, he couldn't claim he had been tortured. After all, he had said those things and signed his name to them.

Psychological research has shown that human beings can tolerate only a certain amount of discrepancy between their thoughts and their behavior. Like anyone unaware of the power of his own self-image, the prisoner felt he had to justify his actions in order to maintain consistency with his own internal sense of identity. He would say that what he had said was true. In that moment his self-image changed. He now believed that he was pro-communist, and his fellow prisoners reinforced his new identity by treating him differently. The loop was complete.

Before long, his desire to act consistently with his new self-image would drive him to collaborate with the Chinese even more, thereby further reinforcing his new self-image until he no longer even questioned it was true.

WHAT IS A SELF-IMAGE?

Your self-image is the way you see yourself in your imagination. The reason your self-image is so powerful is because your behavior will almost never deviate from this internal map. It acts as a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, telling you how to behave or perform to act consistently with the kind of person you think you are. Yet many people don't even realize they have an image of themselves until they look.

We've all met people who are attractive but who think of themselves as ugly—too fat or too thin or too old or too young. If you truly believe you are unattractive, you will unconsciously sabotage any attempts to make yourself appear attractive. Because you won't represent yourself at your best, people will inevitably find you unattractive, and the prophecy is fulfilled.

Studies have shown that an extraordinary number of people who suddenly receive large sums of money through lottery wins or inheritance are likely to lose it again almost as quickly. Even people who earn their money are likely to lose it if what they are earning is more than they believe they are worth. They feel uncomfortable with the extra money, so they spend it, lend it, or find some other way to get rid of it.

Celebrities whose star rises too high too fast can also be brought back to earth by the gravitational pull of a limited self-image. In fact, so many celebrities suffer from self-destructive behavior brought on by feelings of unworthiness that psychologists have created a name for the pattern: the paradise syndrome.

How you think of yourself also affects how other people feel about you. Because more than 90 percent of what you communicate is unconscious, the people around you are continually responding to your body language, tone of voice, and the emotional signals you are transmitting. Even if the words you use sound positive, you may well find yourself conveying one message verbally and a completely different message with your body language.

Here's the point:

You are constantly letting other people know how to treat you by the way you treat yourself.

In the book The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz shares the analogy of living in a restaurant where food was plentiful. If someone came to the door and offered you a pizza but you'd have to let them abuse you for the rest of your life, you'd laugh in his face. But if you were living in the street and hadn't eaten for days and that same person made you that same offer, you'd be likely to consider it. We settle for what we feel we are worth—that is, we will never allow anyone to abuse us more than we abuse ourselves.

SUCCESS AND THE SELF-IMAGE

Unfortunately, while each failure reinforces the self-fulfilling prophecy of your negative self-image, your outer successes rarely change it for the better. No matter how much you have on the outside—big house, big car, money—it will not ultimately satisfy you if you don't already feel good about yourself on the inside.

Over the years I have had the opportunity to meet and work with a large number of successful people. I am continually struck by how many of them create an outer veneer as a way of hiding personal feelings of inadequacy. For example, they project any number of things to compensate for a lack of inner self-worth, flouting their wealth, status, intellectual achievement, physical strength, social connections, or moral "superiority" in an attempt to prove that they are not as worthless as they feel inside.

Sometimes it starts out with a little lie or a small affectation, but over the years it develops into an entire outer persona that is the complete opposite of how they feel on the inside. They continually feel like a fraud, fearing that at any moment they are going to be "found out" and it will all be taken away from them. In fact, many people whom we consider in our culture to have everything are secret self-haters. I call this the "bling-bling factor"—the bigger the jewelry, the smaller the self-image.

However, the bling-bling factor is by no means exclusively a problem of the rich and famous. In fact, having worked with people from all walks of life, I have come to the conclusion that almost everybody is to some extent hiding or compensating for a part of themselves that they don't like.

For a long time I felt that if only I could be rich enough or famous enough, or date lots of beautiful women, then I would feel better about myself. I had been a nerdy kid, and my solution to that was to affix a veneer of success to myself so that no one (including myself) would notice how inadequate I really felt.

Over a relatively short period of time, I worked incredibly hard at achieving and did very well. I became famous, made money, and created all the trappings of a glamorous life. My TV shows were a huge hit; I had more money than ever before and a beautiful model girlfriend. Rock stars, movie stars, even royalty wanted me to work with them.

However, I kept thinking, "I have everything I have ever wanted—how come I still feel empty?"

SO HOW IS YOUR SELF-IMAGE FORMED?

While some of the earliest messages you got from your family were no doubt positive, many of them were not. Whether you were told you were a "stupid child," "ungrateful," or "clumsy," you soaked up all the negative suggestions along with whatever positive reinforcement came your way. A recent study revealed that the average American parent criticizes his or her children eight times for every one time they praise them.

When you start school, so many people are bigger than you and seem to know more than you do. A whole new world of problems comes your way. Teachers unwittingly de-genius you at school by their efforts to mold you. Your spontaneous childlike quality becomes dissipated in the race to shape you into an adult.

Just as you're getting the hang of it, puberty arrives. Hair grows, body parts change size, and just being alive is embarrassing. Then of course there are those people around you with low self-esteem who covertly undermine you to make themselves feel better.

Research has shown that by the age of fourteen, 98 percent of children have a negative self-image. And it only gets worse. Irish author J. H. Brennan describes it like this:

If there is one word which ably describes adolescence, that word is confusion. And the confusion is so strongly felt that it can easily impinge on your basic self-image. It's a sorry picture: small . . . helpless . . . powerless . . . dirty . . . socially unacceptable . . . inferior . . . confusedand in particularly bad cases, unloved and unwanted as well. And sorry though it is, the image was largely accurate when it was laid downnot by yourself, but by the actions and opinions of others. And at this stage, Nature played you the dirtiest trick imaginable. You grew up, but your self-image didn't.

No wonder there are so many people who aren't achieving what they would like in their lives!

As I related J. H. Brennan's words to my own life, I was able to recognize that my fundamental problem was a sense of powerlessness—deep down, I still saw myself as a nerdy, helpless child. Whatever sense of power I had in my life did not come from my authentic self but was drawn solely from the reflected status I felt from my successful career, beautiful girlfriend, and financial resources.

From meeting and working with many famous and successful people I already knew how much of what they had achieved was to compensate for their feelings of inadequacy. It had never before occurred to me that I was one of them.

Once I got really clear on the content of my negative self-image, I knew it was time to make some fundamental changes. I had already made the decision to take responsibility for my life, so it was only a small step from there to take responsibility for how I chose to see myself. I resolved then and there to begin pursuing a new dream. I wanted to develop an approach to understanding and creating human excellence with a heart—not just success, but happiness and fulfillment as well. I determined to find a way to heal the nerd within!

THE BEST ADVICE IN THE WORLD

In the mid-1980s, John Opel, then chairman of IBM, gave a talk to an audience of Stanford MBAs. In response to a request for his advice about how newly minted MBAs should embark on their careers, he said he would share one of his secrets for true success. As the eager young minds in the audience leaned forward, Opel whispered:

"Don't fake it!"

He paused and read the body language in the room. He then said, with great passion:

"No, really, I mean it!"

The room erupted in laughter. He went on to say that we are all smart enough and smooth enough to fake it and get away with it for a while, but eventually our faith in ourselves will be undermined, and with it our self-trust, self-respect, and self-esteem.

Here is today's key lesson:

The reason you are not yet living the life of your dreams is that you are wasting so much of your time and energy hiding your negative self-image from the world.

When all your energy is going into maintaining the illusion of your projected self and hiding the image of your feared self from the world, the still, small voice of the authentic self—who you really are—can barely be heard.

But as you practice the exercises in today's lesson, you will begin to see yourself in a new light. You will learn to turn up the volume on that inner voice, to trust your gut, and to begin to follow the promptings of your own heart. And when you do that, your life will change forever!
© by Paul McKenna, All rights Res.

Excerpted from:

Change Your Life in 7 Days: The World's Leading Hypnotist Shows You How


Synopsis

Most people can think of a time when their lives changed in just a few moments. Over the next seven days, you will experience dozens of those moments, and the resulting changes in your life will positively affect your happiness, success, and well-being for years to come.

Paul McKenna has helped millions of people to quit smoking, lose weight, increase their self-confidence, and change their lives. He is well aware that even small changes can make a huge difference. For years, he has consistently astounded his audiences and clients with his ability to cure lifelong phobias in less than an hour and clear up deep-seated issues in just a few days. Now, Paul McKenna will show you how to use his time-tested, state-of-the-art techniques to help you break through your limitations, release your true potential, and become a happier, more confident, and powerful person.

Paul McKenna has studied many highly successful and effective people around the world and discovered that success and happiness are not accidents that happen to some people and not to others—they are created by deliberate ways of thinking and acting. In this highly practical and engaging book, he distills the core strategies and techniques of the super-achievers into an amazing life makeover that will help you to think and act more positively and confidently, and noticeably improve your life in as little as one week.

• Would you like to make more money and be more successful?

• Would you like to have more energy and feel happier every day?

• Would you like to start living the life of your dreams?

Paul McKenna helps us to integrate powerful new“software” into our minds, using his unique combination of checklists, exercises, informative sidebars, and anecdotes from people who have used this program successfully. Filled with encouraging advice and carefully crafted exercises based on the amazing mind-control techniques he has developed over many years, Change Your Life in Seven Days is designed to help you make a small yet monumental shift that will, over time, lead you to a brighter and more successful future.

All it takes is seven days to turn our lives in a positive new direction. This book will take you there. Buy this book at Barnes & Noble



Sunday, January 4, 2009

New year resolution #1: regeneration!


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